This morning I said goodbye to my darling Dorkus. He was 16 & a half human years old and had been not himself ever since my return from Sydney when I picked him up from the cattery. It had been a bad year for both of us - when my relationship ended, he lost his personal slave and spent a lot more time home alone. Moving is supposed to be one of the most stressful events in life, and I can imagine for a cat seeing all the boxes being packed, or seeing one part of your family turn up late one evening and take all those boxes away and then never return...well it must be difficult to comprehend.
When I came back from my Sydney trip and took him to his new home, it was as if he'd turned into an old man while I'd been away. Maybe he'd been fretting, thinking he'd been abandoned, thinking another human had deserted him.
The above photo was taken a few weeks ago, in the first few days that we were at our new place. But very quickly he stopped joining me in other rooms and spent most of his time sleeping on the bed. Then he started turning his nose up at food. I'd end up offering him a selection of five different flavours so he'd eat something. Then I started cooking him chicken breast but eventually he stopped eating that as well. But still I hoped he'd settle in and start eating again, and he seemed quite content just sleeping all the time. He walked like he'd had a few too many and got up and down the bed very slowly. But I still had hope.
But things changed again over the weekend and I knew he was no longer comfortable. He was skin and bones. He was spending long periods of time crouched in the bathroom, sometimes in the shower recess, or in the lounge room. He was staring off into space more than sleeping and I knew it was time to say goodbye.
In the car on the way to the vet, he didn't even meow and usually he would make his complaints about being in a noisy vehicle loud and clear.
I gave him a cuddle before the needle and then it was done. Very quick and very peaceful. I stayed with him for another 10 minutes to say goodbye. And then I came home with an empty cat carrier and a very heavy heart.
Goodbye Dorkus, we had a fabulous life together.
And you can read some of that fabulous life on this blog.
